From pechever@phakt.usc.edu Thu Sep  8 15:37:37 PDT 1994

I remember my first sins, tawdry thefts and obfuscations arising out of
ennui more than vocation.  Sinning then was an accident, a weakness in
the moral character.  Sin mortified me, and confession cleansed me for
only moments before i would filthy myself again.

Sin was a weight, the bars of a cage, an anchor; the day it dropped away from
me is etched in my remembrance.  Sin is guilt and guilt is sin; without
one there is not the other.  As I learned to enjoy my misdeeds, my freedom
from sin grew; as I reveled in wickedness that would crush others with 
remorse, I became more and more pure.

For without guilt, one cannot sin; and without sin, one becomes holy.  Now
hundreds come to me for healing and benediction, and I am churlish and fickle,
admitting some only to heap scorn upon them, and healing the undeserving while
spurning the just.  And as long as I keep myself free from guilt -- as long
as I can cover my awareness in hedonism -- I do not sin, nor does my halo
tarnish.

heckler
'sbeen a while

-- 
some rides don't have much of a finish
that's the ride i took
through good and bad and straight through indifference
without a second look		- ginblossoms